Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Things NOT to say to a pregnant woman...

...or at least not THIS one.

Why is it that as soon as you have a bump, people feel the need to comment on anything and everything about your pregnancy?
Many of these comments being unwelcome or unsolicited, and sometimes downright rude.

Things NOT to say:
  1. Anything comparing your back pain or body aches to hers-yours don't compare...unless you are pregnant too.
  1. "Calm down, it's just hormones"-...when she's upset. -it's not smart to tell a pregnant woman that her feelings are "just hormones" and she needs to "calm down"...this just fuels a fire & you don't want burned.
  2. Tell her to just suck it up and squeeze into a dress...or any outfit... seriously????! (Yes, I was told this by a few people while pregnant)
  3. Are you sure you are going to make it to [due date]?  You are so big already! (Made me want to say, are you sure you are going to make it to next year being so fat and unhealthy?)
  4. Sleep now, because you won't sleep when the baby comes. - Do I need a reminder that I will be sleep deprived later, when I am sleep deprived as it is [ i.e. back pain, etc]?
  5. Are you sure there's only one baby in there?
  6. You're eating again?
  7. Don't workout too hard. You need to rest. - I'm pregnant not broken, mind your own business.
  8. Pregnancy or birth horror stories. - keep it to yourself. I don't need your scary stories.
  9.  [In reference to labor]Believe me, you'll be asking for the drugs! - I planned a natural birth, just because you have a low pain tolerance, doesn't mean I do.
  10. You are having a [boy/girl], I can tell by [ how big/high/low] you are carrying. - Don't comment on my belly or I will comment on yours.
  11. OMG! You are getting so big!
  12. You keep growing! - that's the point, isn't it?
  13. Any invite to a drinking party/non-pregnant friendly event with a question of "why can't you come?" ...o'come on now, are you serious with this?
  14. You look tired.
  15. Have you had that baby yet?! -If I did you'd think you'd know.
  16. You have to pee, again?
  17. Are you excited? -Why wouldn't I be excited to be having my baby? And if I wasn't excited would you really want an answer to that question....
  18. Don't guess how far along a woman is, just ask. You will save yourself embarassment.
  19. You must get this for your baby! Even after she has explained she doesn't need that item.
  20. Any unsolicited advice. If I want advice I will ask.
May I add, that if this post upsets you, it's not my intention...however, you are probably one of the offenders listed in the post. Make a note not to say it to another pregnant woman, then move on.

There are many more things not to say to a pregnant woman,
but here are a few things you CAN say:

  1. You look beautiful. - Any variation of this!
  2. Congratulations!
  3. Is there anything I can help you with?/ Is there anything you need?
  4. How are you feeling? - Then listen!
  5. What are your plans for your baby?- New moms are so excited to share plans of nursery, baby care, birth plan, etc.
If you are a mom or mom to be, have you heard any of these? What were some nice or not so nice things that people said to you? What was the worst? The best?



  1. yeah, some of those are so RIDICULOUS! and ive definitely heard almost all of them. I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate when people tell me to "control your hormones". Thats almost grounds for an instant ass whoopin lol

    and i cannot agree more on the "horror stories" of labor and delivery. i heard all of them, i went in to the hospital expecting a near death experience, and pain. guess what?! i had the easiest labor ive heard of! Also, the nerve of people saying youll ask for meds anyway! although everyones entitled to their opinion on things, they shouldnt always voice them! its called a birth PLAN. im sure youre aware of your options, in case things dont go as you expect. lets leave it at that. i too, have a high pain tolerence. but, because i was at risk of a BACK labor (and lets face it, i wanted to sleep lol) i took the epidural. but im not going to tell you bc i did , that you should. blahhhh.

    and that "hey you should get this bc i did and ____" i just had this issue the other day, while alvin and i were making our registraqtion at target. i was telling him NOT to scan the diaper genie, bc theyre a waste of time. and costly. and some woman overheard, telling me us to get the arm and hammer branded one bc its amazing and it works. i was polite and thanked her, but she went on to explain about how "youll thank me, esp when they start eating real food" . i almost snapped with a "shut your mouth, this isnt my first kid" lol but i refrained.

    also, not something said but should be on some sort of list like this is the unwelcome belly rubs from strangers. >.< no thank you!

    ok, im thru venting ;]

  2. @chelle- I have had the belly rub before, a complete stranger did that to me. I was furious. Only my hubby, mom and dad had free access to belly rub! I can't blame you for being upset with that woman, I have gotten a lot of advice like that, very annoying. People must think pregnant women are idiots or something....

  3. Yup... I was so tired of the "sleep now, you'll never sleep again!!!" as if I could sleep through the multiple getting up to pee and aches through the night!
    And then "sleep when the baby sleeps!" As if I could just switch myself off automatically... plus I do need to eat and shower some time during the day!!

  4. @sensiblygreen- I agree, when are you supposed to get a shower if you always sleep when baby sleeps :) That was my thought too~!

  5. LOL! I loved this post! I just had my first baby one the 21st of this month!

    I hopped over from the Midweek Blog hop and I am now your newest follower:) I would love a follow back!

    hope your having a great week!

    Sarah Kay
    @ http://magicallifeofmamas.blogspot.com/

  6. @Sarah- Thanks! I will check out your blog and follow you back! Congrats on your new baby!

  7. Being on my third now, I can understand both sides. I know so much more now than I did, that I like being able to give helpful advice and save someone some of the confusion I had the first time around. But I hated all the unsolicited advice I got the first time around. It was intensely frustrating, because 90% of it was horrible, or not applicable to my situation. If people don't know, they should ask questions and not offer opinions. And if they do know, then they should know that every experience is different. It so frustrates me when women who should sympathize with each other, use their own experiences to cut each other down. Like labor experiences are some sort of competition!

  8. @Ali Droz- I completely agree with you. I think that pregnancy & labor are completely different for every woman, and to give unsolicited advice & cut each other down doesn't do any good. We should be there to uplift and support each other :) No competition would be nice! :)